Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
