we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
