It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
