belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
