just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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