Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
