Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
