"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm both gender and math confused
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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