4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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