I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
