dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
