We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
