I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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