She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'd cum for enchiladas.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
