I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
