If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
