Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
