I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
kristin has been a bad kristin
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
