if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
