def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
