Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
