Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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