I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
