People with herpes should wear stickers.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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