I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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