just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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