I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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