You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
