sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
