A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
