She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
