It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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