In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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