I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
