We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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