ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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