some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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