i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
