I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
