i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
