You really coming over, don't trick.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
