I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
one might say we're banned from that church
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
