her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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