it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
