i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
