i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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