im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she woke up with a sticky ear
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
