grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
