Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
