WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
