Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
