I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
