Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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