I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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