i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
