Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
