he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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